I Just Have to Write About How Awesome My Husband Is

We're not so big on presents at the Haines house. I think all three of us feel that there's too much emphasis on "things" in general in this country, and that most holidays should be celebrated for their spirit, rather than for getting things.

One thing we share with various family members, for example, is sending donations and/or homemade gifts, rather than more traditional presents.

SOMEthing from your spouse, however, is always nice. And this is an area in which Dave has had some problems.

In any marriage, there are things you find just amazing about your spouse, and there are probably some things you wished were just a little bit different.

One things I wish were a little bit different about Dave is that he tries so hard at finding just the "right" present or card that often I've ended up with nothing at all. And yeah, that's created some doghouse moments.

This Christmas, when Dave asked what I wanted, I said, "anything simple, but I want a couple of things to open on Christmas morning - I don't really care what - just see what you think will work and don't spend more than $30 altogether."

I hoped I was making it easy, but maybe that was too directive. You can weigh in on that.

I expected that maybe I'd end up with a couple of paperbacks, and maybe some candy or something.

What I got instead was total awesomeness. Dave showed up and then some. The man is OUT of that doghouse!

First off, for those that know me, know there are few things I love more (well, other than family and friends) than coffee and my guinea pigs. So what does Dave do? He combines them:

Can I just say how much I love my new coffee carrier? I can't imagine anything better. And since Dave is a talented photographer, the pictures he chose are simply wonderful. Unfortunately, I am a horrid photographer, so you'll just have to imagine how great this mug looks.

My second item was Fellini's Amarcord. This is a favorite of mine from way back. And he remembered. As I said, awesome.

The last and maybe best was something he made for both Connor and me, but each was personal. Dave is always coming up with "million dollar ideas". It's a family joke, and every time Dave says he's got another one, Con and I kind of roll our eyes. Most of these ideas are real stinkers. If they were truly million dollar ideas, well, our lives might be different. (Or not).

Anyway, each of us received a booklet by a Dr. Silas Pepperpotdottson of our "unique and personal assortment of $1,000,000 ideas." Connor's were ideas for video games, and mine were ideas for restaurants. They were absolutely hysterical.

Here was my favorite:

"MICROVOR
Motto: The localist food in the universe
Image: A spoon containing grass, ants, leaves and a cute mouse
Target niche: People who really care

Local is in. Microvor is taking the Locavore revolution to its logical end. This "restaurant service" brings you a meal made entirely from food that's found no more than 100 feet from where you live. Make a reservation and the Microvor chefs will arrive at your doorstep with their aprons, attitudes, and nets. They spread out to make creative and unique meals just for you from the food found in your yard, your home, your basement, your attic, your bedsheets. Anything edible is fair game for their knives and their acute and creative minds. No one will ever eat a meal like yours again!

These people are in it for the love of it. If you have a house you get the super-fresh ingredients (grass, spiders, mice, moss) of whatever you have living in or outside of your house. If you live in a leaky, 4th floor walk-up, they'll love the challenge of creating a unique meal from your native flora and fauna before the food inspectors catch up to them.

Microvor is pricey but unique. It's so unique that each franchise comes with a film crew, a slot on the Food Network, and a whole set of liability waivers fully tested in court."

Now, is that a million dollar idea or what?

I'm telling you, my husband is made of awesome.