Monday, March 24, 2008

Wijvenweek/Music Monday: "Obsessed about my Bre*sts" - The Condos

For other tales of musical adventure, please visit Soccer Mom in Denial.

First of all, thanks to everyone who helped us out on our vacation plans. Your answers not only clarified this particular road trip, but actually, now we have plans for several others! Yay!

Today is the start of Wijvenweek (Women's Week) - a project started by a group of Flemish women bloggers. You can read more about it here, over at Goofball's place, who invited me to join. Basically, a group of international women bloggers are going to spend the week blogging about issues that are particular to women in an ultra-feminine, humorous way. You can see all the daily posts here. Most will be in Flemish, but there will be some English entries as well.

Now for me, that's going to be a bit of a challenge. For example, there is not an ultra-feminine bone in my body. Secondly, in terms of all things ultra-feminine, in my life that's led to more tragedy than comedy. But I'm giving it my best shot, as the fab Pat Benatar would advise me (who deserves her own Music Monday).

So, today's theme is "my body," and my body, sadly, can not be discussed without starting with my bre*sts.

When I was younger, I was the envy of many of my classmates. I had THEM - the "sisters," "the girls," and I had them early. Oh, to be so envied... and yet, here are some of the things I experienced, because when you're young and you have THEM people a. think you're older than you really are, and b. that you want IT. And we all know what IT is, don't we? And if you need a reminder of just how clueless I was at that age, you can read all about it here. I was so not ready for IT in any way, shape or form.

So here are some of the highlights of my long history with my bre*sts:

1. In seventh grade, the boys in my class stealing into the girls locker room during gym time and stealing my bra. Then I had to go to my MALE teacher (walking cross armed back up from gym) and explain to him what happened and that I needed it BACK. And then he sent me out of the room so he could question the ENTIRE class about it.

2. Finding out that my first real boyfriend had only gone out with me because of my big bre*sts, but then dumped me for someone else who also had big bre*sts, but would do IT.

3. Having my pediatrician suggest bre*st reduction surgery when I was 17 (I was a whopping 36C at the time).

4. Having strangers approach me and discuss the joys of bre*st reduction surgery. Complete. Strangers.

Yeah, so, like, my breasts aren't my favorite thing. And why don't I get that surgery? Well, a. my insurance won't pay for it. Despite documented back and massive other health problems, women with big bre*sts are left to hang, so to speak. B. the couple of times I've had surgery as an adult, things never went well. So, I'm scared. Call me a wuss.

So to change to a lighter tone, I give you The Condos singing "Obsessed about my Bre*sts". This is just a great song that goes much deeper than "the twins" and one that I'm sure every woman can relate to.

Since youtube is still not speaking to me, here is the link.

Happy Monday!


Korie said...

I SO feel your pain. When I was 14 a guy at a hockey game kept hitting on me. I told him my age and he said "No 14 year old has a rack like that."
Classy guy.

soccer mom in denial said...

How do you do it? Talk about the
b00bs, make me laugh and still tie it to Music Monday!

You are brilliant. And if you lived in my state you'd have that surgery covered. If you had one of the non-profit health insurers. Not to try and entice you to move here or anything like that. Nooooo...... wouldn't want the fabulous, smart, funny, likeable, talented YOU as a neighbor. Nope.

Anonymous said...

It's infuriating to me that a woman who suffers from chronic back pain due to a large breast size can't have reduction surgery covered by insurance but should a man want a performance enhancer of course that's covered. *sigh*

Love the idea of Wijvenweek. Can't wait to read some of these fabulous posts. I saw tht LIlacspecs mentioned it. I'm on my way over to Goofball's blog now. :)

Thanks for the heads up.

Jen said...

Lilac, I'm so sorry you went through that. And classy, indeed.

Thanks for the compliments, SMID! And I'd love to move back to MA and have wonderful, talented YOU for a neighbor! And truly - it's covered there? What the heck is wrong with MI??? (And I have really top notch insurance from a nonprofit, to boot).

Yes, CG... weird, huh? Of course, many of these health plans have been decided by male administrators...

anno said...

Grrr.... yet more ammunition for an anti-insurance company tirade I feel coming on.

Funny piece, though. Like SMID, I'm in awe of the way you somehow tied this all in to Music Monday. Just brilliant!

janey jay said...

Oh, lovey. It's not easy being a girl sometimes, is it. We are totally the sum of our parts -- and it's aggravating when one of those parts overshadows the big picture. MWAH!

Great song -- and yes, I can SO realate.

Jen said...

Maybe you and I can start a two-person crusade, Anno! ;-)

You're so right, Jane. Absolutely. And I love the fact that that song hits on all our criticisms of our bodies, lol.

thailandchani said...

Yeah.. the whole insurance thing. What can even be said about that? Pain isn't considered a valid reason for something that can be written off as "elective".

Jen said...

But I think CG had a point... how can vi**gra be covered and not breast reduction? I'm also only 5'3" - so it's really an issue for me. Hmmm...

April said...

I'm also incensed that your insurance won't cover it!

Wijvenweek sounds great.

Jen said...

Well, I guess when I see the post from you, April, I think of you and I'm even more incensed that our government doesn't pay for good daycare or create equal educational opportunities for all our kids. It's a drop in the bucket in the big scheme of things.

Flower Child said...

My mom has big bre*sts. It's something we all talk about all the time. They are a source of comfort and pain. When she had bre*st cancer surgery we suggested she get them reduced. But she wouldn't. Despite the back pain, I think she was reluctant to let any part of them go. Except for the pesky tumor. All's well, she is stil here, THEY are still here.

Jen said...

Wow, Flower Child, I would be SO ready to let go of these babies... As I said, it's more the insurance issue and fear of getting any kind of elective surgery in these days of questionable health care in the U.S.

Thistlemoon said...

That is so messed up Jen! I can't believe insurance doesn't cover this! I am on the opposite end of the spectrum - but I can imagine what it would be like to have a chest of any consequence!

Jen said...

Well, Jenn, I think we're always wondering if it's greener on the other side, but yeah, it's messed up.

Goofball said...

I think you'd be covered in Belgium. come on over here ;).

Dru said...

Insurance. I don't understand why procedures for men are readily acceptable while for women you have to go through many, many things and still you can't have it.

Alex Elliot said...

I got an email about this week and I totally blanked on it! Obviously I can empathize. My surgery was covered in IL.

Sister Sassy said...

Is it awful that all you did with that post is make me want to see them? No, I hear you. I grew fast and young and from about 5 grade till high school the little bastards called me TISSUE TITS! OMG, forever!! As if I would stuff my freaking bra.

I cannot believe your ped suggested breast reduction. I've always felt like a C cup is just right-I strive to be back in my C instead of my D cup...grrr.. Must run faster!

A friend of mine did recently get a reduction and it went well for her. She even sent us pictures of them!

Grimm said...

I'm going to tread very carefully on this subject being of the male gender.

Great post, really. And I'm not saying that because of the subject matter.

I will admit as an immature teenage boy - I was fascinated by all breasts - big or small.

Jen said...

Well, Goofball, that's been my second invite to Belgium in two days... I may just have to come!

Dru, yeah, I find that funny and unprintable at the same time.

Sassy... yeah. It was ridiculous back then. I can't even believe he suggested it. Now, though... ugh.

Grimm, you are one brave guy for venturing in to this discussion - bravo! ;-) And yes, I think most teen boys are fascinated with "them". (and not-so-teenage boys, too - vive la difference, right?)

Jen said...

Wow, Alex, I didn't know you'd been through it. Maybe I have to check my coverage again... I just know the last three times I asked I was turned down. I might write you offlist. The fact that you were in IL gives me hope.