Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Klutzes of the World - Unite!

There have been many reflections on "pretty" lately. See these wonderful posts by Anno, Jennifer, Carol, Anno and Jennifer - and yes, those are intentionally repeated links.

Today I'm going to not-so-gently meditate on another wonder of growing older - grace.

Yes, arguably, we may gain some spiritual grace over the years, but grace of a different sort eludes us. Or me, in any case.

My new heroine for my mystery series is a klutz. And I guess I was channeling her this morning because I managed to pull a muscle in my abdomen. And not any of the usual ones that you expect via sit-ups or some reasonable method.

It was pure klutz. And yes, it was at least through a workout session and not by, like, eating the wrong string bean or something.

The hives are back. Dum da dum dum. Yes, all those wonderful medicines I was given have run their course, and my good health and non-itchy evenings have gone down the drain along with the last of the steroids.

So, this morning, after 4 hours of sleep (which has been a pattern for a whopping 5 or 6 nights now), I am distracted. This, despite the fact that I had a lovely dream where I got to host Jan and Goofball during their sojourn to America. I guess I was jealous of Soccer Mom in Denial.

But... see, I'm distracted. Okay, so in this general level of distraction I begin my workout with no higher ambitions than to feel less miserable and stop barking at my family. I do my mile/workout/warm-up for weight training and feel... better. I go into my bedroom to do my weight training and turn on the TV and find Good Morning America. Fine. I get in a position to do a modified plank. Fine. I kind of forget how to set myself up. Distraction. Distraction. Distraction. My thighs are itching from the hives. Maybe I can scratch them?

No, scratching is bad.

I. am. going. to. ignore. this. itching. And do my plank.

I lift up into the plank and let out a yell that brings both DH and DS running. I manage to pull the muscles running down the side of my stomach. I even looked them up. They are my internal oblique muscles. I manage, with great pain, to stand straight. I am heading for the showers, because my work out is kaput.

Okay, ladies and gentleman of a *certain* age - what is your best klutz story of the moment. Come on, leave a comment. I know already that Jami's had one of these weeks herself (see her September 7th entry).

Don't be shy.

After all, some days, all we have left is our dignity, right? ;-)

15 comments:

Shelby said...

broke a glass this morning.. now there's little shards of glass everywhere ... does that count?

Jen said...

Yup, Shelby, I think it counts! Hope you were okay.

anno said...

Besides regularly tripping over my own two feet, losing my keys, misplacing important papers, breaking glasses, acquiring mysterious papercuts ... other than that, I'm an icon of youth and grace.

Hope you are feeling MUCH better VERY soon!

Shelby said...

HI again - thanks for your beautiful comment too...

Yeah I'm ok, but I haven't cleaned up the glass yet :) I must do that. I sat down and blogged first. Where are my priorities.

Mikaela said...

Haha, well, I pulled, or not quite, but strained, one of those muscles last week. So it doesn't have to do with age:)

jennifer said...

Ah... being clutzy for me has nothing to do with beauty, or with aging for that matter! I've always been a total clutz. Peple who know me and can stand to be around me just get used to it.
I wrote about about my all time gold medal clutz moment here. Right at number 1.
I also do all kinds of crazy bizarre moves in Pilates. I go three times a week just to have the luxury of not thinking about anything other how I am moving for an hour. I keep thinking this will result in some kind of grace?! Last week the teacher yelled out to me, "Jennifer, you have to take you butt with you when you move!!"

Greg said...

I have this image of myself as being graceful...gliding into a room like (as David Bowie wrote)a tiger on vaseline. Reality, however, is somewhat different. I'm as likely as not to bang into a table, trip over my own feet, or collide with another person as not.

Leslie said...

Today, I parked in the "ATM Parking Only" spot near out bank, got Julia and myself out, withdrew some cash and returned to the van. After securing Julia in her car seat and shutting the van door, I turned and walked smack into the "ATM Parking Only" sign.

To add insult to injury, there was an elderly couple driving by who found it completely hiliarious. I could tell because of all the pointing and laughing.

What is more, I've had to re-type this comment three times now as Blogger appears to be very hungry.

Does that count?

soccer mom in denial said...

Gee - you WERE jealous. You didn't even link to me!

It was pretty cool to get to meet Goofball and her man. They have just the right attitude about travel. They'll get to you, someday.

Luisa Perkins said...

How would I ever choose just one episode?

I hope you feel better soon!

Fourier Analyst said...

I'm currently having a klutz-free moment, but that's just because the Murphy Gods are busy elsewhere. They'll be back and catch up in no time. I'll have to think about my "best" klutz stories...

Hope you are feeling better soon. If it's any consolation, I doubt that I could even find my oblique abdominal muscles under all the padding I carry around, much less strain them in any fashion!

Jami said...

Well, although you've already mentioned my latest "episode", it's certainly not my only one. And they're not at all related to my age ... not that I've got a lot of years piled up or anything.

Rebecca said...

I get klutzy whenever I'm impatient and in too much of a hurry. You know...when you're rushing and you put something on a table..but not properly and it falls off...so you pick it up and toss it impatiently back onto the table....it fallss again.. and so on and on and on. Until I have a tantrum and just throw the stupid thing against the wall....

Annette Lyon said...

On Sunday I passed out for no apparent reason--onto a tile floor. Broke my nose.

And 9 years ago I broke my foot stepping over a blanket. Yeah, THAT was a great story to tell! Wished I could have said I did it saving a child from a burning building or something . . .

Goofball said...

Hey, I only discover now that you've dreamed about us. How sweet! I am totally flattered :).

And about being a klutz: does my last week's eye rubbing count, where I managed to rub it so well that I got an eye infection??

oh and if you browse through my archives, I fell down the stairs last winter with some buckes full of water and carpets over my arms.


@Greg: like a tiger on vaseline. Hey I love that image!

@smid: ooooh another sweet comment about us :)

@annette lyon: auwww that sounds painful. Hope your nose is getting better in the mean time. Hmm how do you in fact recover from a broken nose?