Monday school starts.
It already started for C; he's part of the local public school system, and he started the day after Labor Day. In fact, he's in the middle of his first bout of Junior homework as I write this - a large chunk of math, historical analysis, English essay, science reading and project, studying for his first Spanish test of the year.
My first day papers are all printed out and ready to go. My copies of Beowulf and Romeo and Juliet and Bill Bryson's Shakespeare: The World as Stage are stacked in my wheeled crate. The lunch box has been cleaned and aired. Tomorrow I go to pick out folders and a new water bottle (mine started inexplicably leaking which is not good when you're carrying student essays in the same crate with said water bottle).
The fact that school was about to start hit me hard about two weeks ago. It didn't hit me hard because I didn't want to go back to teaching - I love teaching and I'm always excited, rather than distressed.
What hit me hard was how much time I was spending on the annarbor.com job. How many hours I was putting in each week making sure I had the right number of food posts, what I would write about, how to fit in interviews and photo sessions with businesses, making sure I read the other food articles on the site. Making sure I commented. Making sure I commented here, and there, and that I read many, many other food blogs every. single. day.
I always wanted to be a food writer. Much of my freelance work has been in the education field or special projects for the University or the U. of M. Hospital, and I've always wanted to write about food instead.
But here's what I learned on my summer vacation: I really don't.
I really don't want to be a food writer.
But don't get me wrong: I love writing about food.
So, now it's time to go, "Huh? But I thought she just said..."
Yeah, I did. But what I really mean is that I don't *just* want to be a food writer. I want to keep being a teacher. I need and want to be the best mom and daughter (and wife, although hopefully D is less in need of caretaking than C and my mom) I can be, and take the proper time for those whom I love and who need my care. I want time to volunteer for the causes I believe in. And oh, yeah, I want my word count to go up on my WIP.
I don't want to keep posting my food posts on Facebook or tweeting my own posts.
I'm happy to post yours - I love connecting friends to the writing of other friends, but tooting my own horn? Not so much.
It's just not in my comfort zone.
So, Friday, I tendered my e-mail of resignation. I can still post there; I'll just go to being one of the unpaid bloggers. Now, before you get all in my face about writing for no pay, I'll cover that in another post soon.
But for now, here's what I plan to do:
Talk about the need for healthcare reform.
Write about more than food businesses for Local Love Fridays.
Write about ovarian cancer awareness and other upcoming events.
Write about sustainability issues.
Oh... and lest I get too serious, post some funny videos and keep posting recipes.
And there's nowhere you need to leave comments other than right here. On a2eatwrite.
It's good to be home.